Episode 36: Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection
Office Hours With Dr. Lacy
Introduction:
Welcome to office hours with Dr. Lacy. Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your dissertation strategist where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative dissertations so that they can graduate and successfully become doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November. It's going to be at home in Chicago. I'm inviting a few friends along for a beautiful, productive, rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are going to be meeting in Chicago November 24th to the 27th, four days, three nights of writing scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Um, um, from we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self, we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routine. We're going to have some time to get some eyes on your writing to really help you flesh out those ideas and have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant writing done at the retreat cause there was nothing more, I find annoying that when you go to an event, you're all, you're all excited and you're motivated, you're like yup I'm going to do all the things and then you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're gonna make sure that when you leave you know what to do. Plus, you know I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my MO.
So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page? How do you manage your own self to that, you know, you can continue to show up and go after your goals? Plus so much more. Breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different options for packages available. So please, please, please go over to MarvetteLacy.com. And then you're going to click the red button at the top right corner and it says, work with me. And there, you will find all the information about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises planned, we already have people signed up. And so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just go on over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you about it, but please don't miss out. Alright, we're gonna get onto today's episode.
90-Day Check In:
Okay, welcome back to week four of our 90 day challenge. Um, if you've made it this far, please give yourself a round of applause because you are showing up for yourself. And don't worry if you just started or have you fallen off, you can always restart because this challenge and today's episode is all about progress over perfection. We are not about doing everything perfect 100% of the time. We are about progress, persistence, consistency. Even if something happens, even if life comes in and like take you out, you can always start back. You can always start back. And so a good place is to go to the basics and start there and build yourself up. And there's no such thing as me. And behind that is not a such thing. You are where you're supposed to be and you are doing the work that you are supposed to be doing right now. So if you have no idea what I'm talking about, are you, you're curious about what this 90 day challenge is, please come over to marvettelacy.com and sign up. It is us Qual scholars, the group of us, we're making this last 90 days, our best 90 days. We're joining Rachel Hollis and her last 90 days challenge. We're doing our own version of it. What you get when you sign up is you get an email every week, a challenge every week and you get all the support and accountability in the world to make are last 90 days, your best 90 days.
A Taste of Write Away:
And so today's episode is going to be a little bit different than my normal episodes. Um, I am sharing with you a recording from a Write away episodes. I mean episode ya'll, it's been a long day. It's a write away session. So before write away, I will usually come in and I will either talk about something related to productivity, mindset, time management, something to help people get motivated, um, into the writing session or we will do like a, simp like a simple check in just to see where folks are and how things have been going. So that's what you'll hear um next is the, we did this a few weeks ago now, uh, where I came in, I talked to them about progress over perfection and I thought it would be a great opportunity to share it with you so that you can get a glimpse of what it's like to be in write away. Um, cause I know you've heard me talk about it a lot. Um, and maybe are curious to like what's really happening with this group. And so that's what this is about. Um, I did not share with you, the discussion that took place and just sharing with you my initial intro with the group. So enjoy it's going to be really short. I'd be curious to know your thoughts about it. And if you are interested in joining write away, please come on over to my marvettelacy.com and sign up. All right, let's get to this week's episode.
Join the 90 Day Challenge:
Hey girl, I wanted to come in the middle of this episode and tell you about my 90 day challenge. Yes, the last 90 days. How do we finish this year strong? So if you're familiar with Rachel Hollis, she does the last 90 day challenge and I decided to do my own version of that. And so I'm here to help all of my scholar friends mate the last 90 days, the best 90 days of 2019. All you had to do is come on over to the website, marvettelacy.com scroll all the way down to the bottom and you will see a button there for you to sign up. There should also be a button at the top of the page. But just in case you don't see it, it's there and you're, you're on a sign up and you're going to get emails. And what I'm doing is sending folks an email every week full of motivation and a challenge for them to do every week in this challenge takes no time. Like it's asking you to take an hour for yourself and listen. If you don't have that hour a day for yourself, like Rachel says, do you even have a life? So yes, that's where we're going to be doing in 90 days. It's not too late to sign up. It's never too late to start going towards your dream. So please come on over to the website, sign up and let's get back to the episode.
Write Away Break Down:
All right, back to sharing. I did this to keep myself on track because I know me. All right. So I just wanted to go over cause we will have new folks come in and out. Um, that typically, this is what it looks like. Um, I know we used to do like 15 minutes of catching up and talking about a topic of the day, but the way real life has been happening these past few weeks, it's more like 30 minutes. So will we take the whole 30 minutes every time? No, but if we need it, it's there and at least folks know to expect that, you know, the first 30 minutes is for us to catch up and especially for folks who can't make it both Sundays and Wednesdays or maybe something has happened. For instance, I thought Shetina would be on, but I think she'll be coming on in a little bit like she's in the middle of um, data collection and it's like a marathon data collection session, um, session where she's traveling to different cities.
So she needs some encouragement and some support because it's a lot and she has a very strict deadline. She's graduating in December. And so if you also had something similar, this would be our time to like give you support and help you talk through anything that you may have going on or that came out wrong. But you get what I'm saying. And then we spend the rest of the time like doing actual work, making sure to keep the cameras on as much as possible. Of course you may have things that come up, maybe you're eating. That's usually what my camera goes off is when I'm eating something while writing. Um, but it's encouraging to look up and see other people working your serious face and all the things because it helps sends you a signal to say, I should be writing. I know it helps me, you know, I'm hoping that that helps you all. And then the last few minutes just checking in and seeing what we got done during the call and what our plans are going to be in between sessions, um, and how we can support each other. So that's a breakdown of write away. Again, the weekly schedule. Um, this is an Eastern time now, which I have to get used to. So I know for my mountain friends. What is it? Two hours, three hours behind, something like two hours.
So this is the schedule. Oh Wednesday, now last Wednesday was fine because I had just got into town and I was still level. We going to see y'all I might come in with my bonnet and my pajamas because sleep. Okay. It's 10 o'clock. Like, it's kind of late cause I'm old now, not really. But I act like an old woman. Um, I wanted to remind or even let you know that there is a Facebook group. Um, and if anything comes up in between calls, please go there and Margaret will be there to answer questions. I'll be in and out. I'm trying to do better at Facebook. This a love hate thing. I'm mostly on Instagram, but right now I don't have the group feature and I don't even people use Instagram in that way. So for now we will be on Facebook, um, talking with each other and anything else that comes up.
Uh, if you're not on Facebook, you know, um, I think there's a sheet somewhere and maybe Margaret, and maybe I'll make this up, but there's a sheet where everybody's name and contact info, maybe it's an older thing, but we can update that and um, put it somewhere so that you can get it. Um, if anything comes up that you have a question for one of us, you can either email or Facebook group or come to the call. Um, and we will answer it. And then I want to remind you, we talked about this last Sunday, but daily pages, um, I sent that out. In a few weeks we'll have like, um, what do you call it like an online website member portal thing happening. So everything will be there because that will make it easier if you need to download something or it's schedule or even these recordings will be there. Um, so we are working on that for the next couple of weeks or so. And we will let you know when that's up. But if you need that, I will email that out again after we get done here so that you can have it.
Q & A:
Um, so today's, before I get to today's topic, is there any questions about what I just said or anything I went over this.
Daily Pages Question:
This is Kayla just for the daily pages are we supposed to do them every day or is it like kind of what's the expectation?
Well, every day, and let me back up in a minute, but it's every day. It should take you no more than like two to five minutes in the morning. The goal is to just revisit what are your writing goals? So for you Kayla like when do you want to graduate by? And then like, what can you do today um, to get you one step closer to finishing your your dissertation and graduating? Um, if I ask you like, um, how do I want to feel today? Um, how do you had to behave in order to feel that way? Which the sentiments that if you feel a certain way it'll help you do what you need to keep your goals. Which I'll talk a little bit more about it today, but a lot of times we have these goals that we want to accomplish and you get so focused on a goal, but then we're like, how are we supposed to do it? Like we don't know what we supposed to do on a day to day basis. We know like the large goals, but like what does that mean? So those sheets are intended to help you figure out those in between moments and like small steps. And then at the end of the day or the next morning, depending on how you do that, there's a little assessment that says like, did you do, did you do the behaviors you said you were going to do, why or why not? And just like [inaudible] yourself. The goal isn't to be perfect. The goal is to keep monitoring your progress. But if you have something that already works for you on a daily basis routine to do that is just making sure that every day that you're checking in with yourself about what it is that you are going to do. Does that answer your question?
Writing Document Submission:
Marvette, I have one other question. Um, can you hear me? Oh, we're supposed to send you a writing document on Sunday night or by Sunday?
So by Monday morning it says Sunday but you know, for me, I'm like in terms of deadlines. I'm not very strict. As long as I have it before Monday afternoon, I'm good. Cause that's when everything, [inaudible] if you're confused, like what is she talking about? I just want to know what folks are working on.
Progress over perfection 101:
Alright. So, um, today's topic is how do you do progress over perfection? Again, I was talking about how we have these goals. Um, and I think, at least for me, I'll say this, um, I'll have a goal and I want to do everything perfect and I want to do everything as much as possible up front. And then I burned myself out like three days in and then I just give up over it. I give up on everything. And so I have to remind myself to take little steps every day to work towards my goals so that I don't burn myself out and that I actually make progress. Um, because it's about momentum towards your goal instead of trying to do everything perfect every day because that's kind of impossible and it's something you have to build up to. You don't start off the gate doing everything perfect all the time without any hiccups or anything. So the first thing is how do you find your, um, your baseline? So when you have a goal, so say you want to finish your proposal by December, what is the least amount of work that you would have to do today or this month in September to get you closer to finishing it in December? What is the least amount of work that you would have to do, um, that you, that you would be willing to do? So maybe it's not that you start off like, I'm gonna do four or five days of eight hour work days. But maybe it's like, you know, I'll download two articles today and I'll read those two articles in this one week and that's the least amount I can do that'll give me close to my goal. Like how can you do the least amount? This sounds really backwards, but go with me. How do you do the least amount of work that still helps you get closer to your goal? If that's a, if that's a way of thinking about it. Um, just stick with me.
Be 1% Better:
Um, another way could be how can I be 1% better today? I don't know if you familiar with the 1% rule? I got it from atomic habits, which is a very good book. When you actually have time, you're not in deep and dissertating after you graduate. I definitely say put that on your list as a book to read because it's very good for productivity and time management. But a James Clear, who is the author talks a lot about 1% how can you just be 1% better today than you were yesterday? And not trying to do this big jump, but like how can you just be 1% is it like download one more article? Is it reading over one more paragraph? Is it sending one email? Like what is one thing, one little small steps today that you could do to be better? Um, it's like behave like the person that you want to be by doing small things every day. So I talked about like practice builds momentum, which builds progress. Thinking about, who are you going to be when you finish your proposal? Or who are you going to be when you're standing in that like you, they call you back into the room and they say, congratulations doctor, who is that person and how would that person behave today looking like if you're looking towards the future and that's going to be my future self.
Who do I have to be in this moment to be that person who achieves that goal? Does that make sense? When I think I said that really like, but yeah, like how can you behave like that person you want to be today? Like how does she like wake up? What does she do? How does she plan her day? What would she do when she sat down to write? How would she think about herself? How would she think about what she's writing? How can you behave like that person? Okay. Yep. Now, now, okay, there we go. Um, some thoughts that may come up. So I talked about doing small steps. I talked about being 1% better. I talk about behaving as a person you want to be. Some things that may come up is this can't be enough. I think about that all the time of like if I just do this one thing, that's not enough, that's gonna take too much time. I'm going to waste time that I could be doing more today. Um, my maybe like my chair won't think that's enough, or other people in my cohort are doing more than this. I'm never gonna make it. And it's very unhelpful and it's really, when you have thoughts like this, this is the biggest waste of your time because you're thinking like, it won't be enough. You're trying to plan and plan and plan because you think, well, I'm working smarter instead of harder. Or you're thinking more about the best way to do something or what someone else is gonna think.
Take The First Step:
And then all that's doing is wasting time that if you actually started doing something, if you just took the next step, you would be closer to actually achieving your goal. So a lot of times I get stuck, and I did this too when I was writing my dissertation of I had an obsession with planners. I would go to Michael's almost every day. It was a problem. I had boxes and boxes when I move of planners or stickers and washi tape of everything. Um, because I was like I just like to plan and I want to make sure I'm making a good use of my time and I wasn't doing anything that I needed to be doing like writing or reading or reviewing anything or talking to people to get my thoughts more clear about actually what my dissertation was about or even data or analyzing because I was trying to think my way to the end of my goal and you can never do everything in your head or you can never, um like wasting the time trying to think about the best way will never out do you actually starting the next step. You actually taking one step that you think is the right thing. Action will always win overthinking. So that is the thought of today. I'd be curious about what thoughts you have about that and what you are working on for today and for this call.
Join Write Away!:
Hey sis, how is your productivity going? No, for real it's just you and me. Like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot and why you're feeling burnt out? Feeling a little bit lonely? Wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are and consistent as you are to showing up week after week to get things done. Then you have to join Write Away. Write Away is my weekly accountability group where we have people just like you showing up every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays for three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. Um, we ask that people stay for the whole time but we also know like life is real. Life happens and sometimes you have other things to do and so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave and they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're going to do week after week. And plus, we are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. Like they don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's us. We do that. We, we're here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet, we're there to do that. So come to the website, check us out, and join now. Um, you can go to marvettelacy.com. Click the red button in the top right corner, work with me and you'll find all the information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. And you definitely, definitely should join.