Episode 37: Kayla Hamilton
Introduction:
Welcome to office hours with Dr. Lacy. Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your dissertation strategist where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative dissertations so that they can graduate and successfully become doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November. It's going to be at home in Chicago. I'm inviting a few friends along for a beautiful, productive, rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are going to be meeting in Chicago November 24th to the 27th, four days, three nights of writing scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Um, um, from we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self, we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routine. We're going to have some time to get some eyes on your writing to really help you flesh out those ideas and have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant writing done at the retreat cause there was nothing more, I find annoying that when you go to an event, you're all, you're all excited and you're motivated, you're like yup I'm going to do all the things and then you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're gonna make sure that when you leave you know what to do. Plus, you know I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my MO. So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page? How do you manage your own self to that, you know, you can continue to show up and go after your goals? Plus so much more. Breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different options for packages available. So please, please, please go over to MarvetteLacy.com. And then you're going to click the red button at the top right corner and it says, work with me. And there, you will find all the information about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises planned, we already have people signed up. And so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just go on over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you about it, but please don't miss out. Alright, we're gonna get onto today's episode.
Welcome Our Guest!:
Hi. Welcome to this week's episode. I am bringing back interviews. Now if you have been around here since the beginning of this podcast, you will know that when I started this, I used to do interviews with people who were either currently in their doc program or people who had recently finished. And yeah, it was my way to highlight the stories of those people who were doing the work and whose stories so often get to be told and I wanted it to serve as a sense of encouragement for current doc students so that they can keep going and they can see someone who look like them who made it or who was doing it, who's in the journey with them and that we could use this as a way to share helpful strategies and tools and techniques that we've all learned along the way. That became a lot for me and so I took a break from it, but now I am ready to come back and I'm so excited for all the interviews that are lined up and I can't wait for you to hear from this next group. So I won't have an interview episode every week, but I will have one the last week of every month. So the last Wednesday of every month. You can expect to hear a new interview. And That's what we have today. So sit back, get you something to drink. These episodes are a little bit longer your favorite beverage in there. I'm excited for you to hear this week's episodes. Let's get started.
Hi, welcome to this week's episode. So today we're going to be talking to Kayla Hamilton. I met Kayla, um, at the University of Georgia and while I would see her from time to time, different classes, she was in different cohort and I was, we didn't really get, I would say like really had time, like one-on-one time to talk to each other until it was time for us to do our, um, preliminary exams and we were, we did them together. So we were in a room with each other for three days straight, four hours each day. Got a question. And we were writing our hearts out needs. I remember day one, we got the question and I feel like we both were like, we don't have an answer for this. And I just remember sitting there, both of us sitting there, but what it felt like hours. I mean, we were only there for four hours, was sitting there for like hours staring off. Like I don't have an answer and I'm about to fail. At least that's what I was thinking in my head that I was going to fail these exams because we, um, it is not a take home process, it's you get four questions and you have no notes. You just have a citation, a reference page and that's it. And you're supposed to write a whole paper for the answer. Um, and so I felt really close to her after that. And then we kept in touch. And Kayla also, um, we worked together too on her proposal to go up for defense. And so you're gonna hear all about that in this interview and I would say like, there's so many nuggets in this interview that you, please just have your, your paper ready, be prepared for all the things. Um, she just, she has a lot to say and a lot to share and I cannot wait for you to hear it. I would love to know what you think about this episode. Please come on over to Instagram and tag us both and let us know. Um, and let's have a conversation. But without further ado, here is the interview.
Tell Us About You:
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your program, and currently what's going on with you as it relates to, um, your doctoral journey.
Guest: Um, hi, my name's Kayla Hamilton. I am a doctoral candidate in the PhD program of, the student affairs program at the University of Georgia. Uh, I am currently, uh, working on my IRB to get submitted so that I can start collecting data so that I can graduate in May. That is the goal. Um, I'm a part time student. My other job is, uh, working in residence life at Emory University. Um, and in that role I work, I supervise one assistant director and then do crisis response, which takes up a whole lot of time. Um, and then work with, um, I'm the also as, uh, facilities operations kind of liaison. So really many things that whatever my boss tells me to do.
Dr. Lacy: Other duties as assigned.
Guest: Yes, indeed.
Why A PhD? (Dr. Lacy):
Thank you. Um, so I always like to ask people this question because ideally like we have other degrees, we've been doing the school thing for a minute and like, why would you go and get a whole other degree, a PhD at that?
Guest: Um, so that's a great question. So, um, my other degree is in, um, student personnel. Um, and after I got my masters I was like, I'm done. I'm not going back. Whatever. Um, and when I came to Emory, uh, my supervisor was in the PhD program at the time and he was like, you know what, you should just go ahead and do it. And I was like, I don't want to take GRE, I'm old. I want to go online and take the GRE. He's like, I don't think you have to because you got your masters from University of Georgia. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so he emailed the director at the time and she was like, Oh, Kayla, I know you, you don't have to take the GRE. I was like Well, hell now I have no reason not to go back. And I really didn't have a reason that I was looking for excuses and I really, I wanted to go back for me. Like my fear has always been on, it's gonna go and start the program. And I love classes and I love the little assignments. It's the dissertation that frightens and has frightened the, the frightened me that I wasn't gonna finish. Um, and so, um, it really has been, part of it is I enjoy being in a classroom. It's why I'm still on a college campus. But also I want to be able to turn down jobs because I want to be able to turn on down jobs, not because a job, a PhD is required and I don't have it.
Balancing It All (Dr. Lacy):
Hmm. I think people will be shocked to know how many like PhD stories start off with like the GRE thing. Um, cause I think about me and I want to say I had like months left before my GRE scores expired. And so that was also part of the reason why I started when I did. Um, a big part of that reason is because my mentor made me like, she practically, you know, put the application in my hand and made me sit there and fill it out. Um, but yeah, like I was also like, well, I don't want to take the GRE again and that was too much. I'm not doing that. Yup. Yes. And I do hear you about wanting to have like freedom to choose the job that you want instead of people making up some excuse about like, you don't have this degree. And so, or like you're limited because of that. The student affairs is a whole other thing that it makes no sense. Thank you so much for sharing. Um, and as somebody who is working full time, um, I'm curious to know like, one, why did you decide to continue working full time and then I know there is no typical week in the life, but how do you know, the big question that people ask is like, how do you balance it all? So more about like, what does a typical week look like?
Guest: Um, so it was interesting. I, you know, I, I don't even think I thought about going full time, honestly. Um, it wasn't an option to me. And part of it was I enjoy, I have and I've been doing this for a while, but I have enjoyed, I don't mind driving and I didn't want to be a full time student. And being part time has allowed me to distance myself in some ways from the drama at Emory and in some ways the drama at UGA. And so, um, I think when I, when I thought about going back, I guess I, I, you know, was never. At, at one time, so when I was a master's students, they didn't have any part-time PhD students. And so, um, there were like three or four PhD students and they were all full time. And so when I came back, you know, and started looking at my PhD, there was the option to go part time. And you know, I liked what I did. Like I had just started my job at Emory. There was lots of opportunity for lots of engagement on campus and I didn't wanna come back, start a job for a year, leave the job for a year and then go to work on my PhD. And one of the reasons I didn't want to do that is because I had just, so I had worked at UNC chapel Hill for four years. I went to AP state for a year and it was not a positive experience. And so when I came to Emory, I came to Emory and then was given kind of, I had the opportunity to go back to school and I knew that if I went, if I, if I left Emory after a year, it would just look bad on my resume to leave two jobs after a year to go into a PhD program. So that was also part of my thinking is that I need to stay at Emory for a while. And I, And I was able and I thought I'd be able to do and I have been able to do my classes and my work, um, because the classes were for the most part on one day. Um, and my job was flexible enough. So even if I was not on campus for that one day, I could make it up on those other days and weekends.
Dr. Lacy:
Uh, thank you. I didn't know that part about your story. So, uh, that makes absolute sense about not wanting to leave too early. Um, and on one hand is like higher ed student affairs people expect you to uh, move around and if he's with a year here and a year there people do like they start to have questions.
Guest: Right. Exactly.
Dr. Lacy:
Cause it, I mean it takes a year for you to learn your job. So yeah, that would, I'm sure that would have raised some eyebrows. Um, and it's interesting that you say like you didn't mind driving. So the drive, I mean, could be anywhere between an hour if you really pushing it, breaking some speed laws two to three hours depending on a day and the time and traffic. And so for you to say like you didn't mind driving? I found that interesting because randomly does how I got an audible account because I was doing a, um, I was doing to internship at Emory and I had to come once a week and even though it was a lot, so I can't imagine, and that was for a semester. But thinking about the amount of time that you've made that drive and you're like, I don't mind.
Guest:
You know what if people say that, but you know, I grew up in Atlanta and I don't mind driving and I think one of the reasons I don't want to mind driving is because I didn't start driving and told later like both my parents had sticks and they didn't want to teach me how to drive on their sticks. Cause both of them were like, we don't want you to mess up our car. So I didn't, I didn't really learn how to drive until I was in college and I didn't get my driver's license until I was 20. And so I just don't, like, I don't mind driving. I would listen to music. I would listen to podcasts, it was an opportunity to get away from campus. So if people or students or stuff was pissing me off, I could drive to UGA and I wasn't there. And that was really nice. And then when there was stupid stuff happening at UGA, I could drive back to Emory. And again, it, it, I wasn't, it was a way for me to, to kind of peace out in both arenas. And so that really did, it did, I didn't, it didn't bother me and it ha like, I don't mind driving. Um, and a lot of people are like, I can't believe you've don;t mind to drive, but I would go, you know, I found back ways if you go certain times of the day, and again, classes usually like depending on when the classes were, if I had to be there by noon while I came to work for maybe two hours, I would try and get in my car by by 10 and that would be able to be parked and potentially in class by noon. Um, you know, sometimes I had to hustle. Um, but you know, if you time it the right time, you know, depending on which way you go you you're going to hit traffic. And I knew I was going to hit traffic. I always kind of guesstimated in my head, which is going to be the fastest way to get to Athens.
Join My 90 Day Challenge (Dr. Lacy):
Hey girl, I wanted to come in the middle of this episode and tell you about my 90 day challenge. Yes, the last 90 days. How do we finish this year strong? So if you're familiar with Rachel Hollis, she does the last 90 day challenge and I decided to do my own version of that. And so I'm here to help all of my scholar friends mate the last 90 days, the best 90 days of 2019. All you had to do is come on over to the website, marvettelacy.com scroll all the way down to the bottom and you will see a button there for you to sign up. There should also be a button at the top of the page. But just in case you don't see it, it's there and you're, you're on a sign up and you're going to get emails. And what I'm doing is sending folks an email every week full of motivation and a challenge for them to do every week in this challenge takes no time. Like it's asking you to take an hour for yourself and listen. If you don't have that hour a day for yourself, like Rachel says, do you even have a life? So yes, that's where we're going to be doing in 90 days. It's not too late to sign up. It's never too late to start going towards your dream. So please come on over to the website, sign up and let's get back to the episode.
Avoiding Burnout (Dr. Lacy):
Hmm, But still I just, I mean I hear people say it but like how like in general, like not how did you do to drive? It's just like how do you keep up with it all like how do you not just like get burned out and just want to say I'm done?
Guest:
Um, I think for me, the classes and the people always kept me entertained and interested. And so, um, I think that for me it was up until up until the dissertation point, I didn't like, I liked being in classes because I got to hear different perspectives. Some that I thought were stupid, but it was like a different, it was a different group of people. Um, and I think, so, you know, my, almost everyone in my cohort has graduated except me. But I've been able to see a few different cohorts. And so that has given me a, a different type of energy and commitment, um, to the different classes that I've been in. Um, and I've generally like liked, except for statistics. I have liked all the classes for one reason or another that I have been in. Um, and so, and even the statistics, like I needed to be there because I was like, I have got to pass this class. I'm not gonna let, I'm not gonna let this statistics beat me. Um, so I think, you know, I guess I also tried to be as intentional about the things that calm me and bring me joy. And so, you know, I love TV and so there were things that I did sacrifice, but I, you know, I'm not an, I probably shouldn't have sacrificed some of my TV watching, but those are the things that I can veg out and write and watch TV for an hour or two and then spend another hour to reading, you know? And so I think that has been the things that, the things that I have done to keep me balanced. Um, if I had not done as many of those things, I probably might be done already. But, you know, I go to musicals. Those are things that, that make me happy. You know, I've traveled. Um, you know, and so I haven't. While I have been committed to this journey, I've also been committed to other things as well.
Dr. Lacy:
Absolutely. I mean, um, you know, for you to say like everyone in your cohort that's graduating, you're still doing it. And it sounds like you were very intentional, um, in terms of like having the journey be what you want it to be. And so a lot of times people would say like, it has to getting a PhD has to look a certain way. Like you have to ignore all your family and friends. You can't have a life. You can only focus on, you know, the program and your dissertation for whatever, four or five, six years or however long. Um, but it sounds like you have continued to have your life and have that balance.
Guest:
Oh, I definitely have. But I'm like, you know, this dissertation has been part of what I've done and who I am. It doesn't define me. And in some ways that has been to my detriment. I think in some, some semesters I probably needed it to define me a little bit more. But I also knew I was like, you know what, I'm not going to, this is not going to kill me. I'm not going to let this kill me. If I am tired, I'm not going to read. You know, I knew when papers were due. I knew, you know, I knew how to read enough to read enough. Um, but I also knew that, you know, in the summers, you know, I'm committed to SEHO, which is the Southeastern housing association. Um, and I've been, I've been in the past an officer. And so in the past I've been committed to going to these conferences or, you know, one semester, um, I went to ACPA and, and was a part of, um, next gen, you know, the thing that experiences that are, that are a value to me. I've continued to do those because in the end, like, you know, I, I really do believe like it's a journey and it's my journey. And you know, there are a lot of people who, who started after me and are, are done and have been done. And I was like, good for them, but that's not the way I wanted to do it. And it's never been the way I wanted to do it. Um, and I'm, I'm, when I get done, I'll be done and woo for me. But I didn't do this for anyone else except for me.
Dr. Lacy:
Yes. And that's, I think that is so, so important. And I feel that people need to stop and rewind that part again and listen. Um, because, so that was really like a part of like core mission with this business is trying to show people that it doesn't have, like this doesn't have to be this process that robs you of your whole life. Like after I got done and I, it took me two years to recover because I had to do it in such, well I didn't have to, but I did it in such a short period of time and I wish I could go back to myself and be like, you know, chill out. I mean, yes, your advisor said it had to be done, but I mean all things are negotiable, right? Um, and I'm not convinced at the price or the costs I had to pay to get it done in that short amount of time was worth it.
Guest:
I also think I've gotten some leeway because I am full time and I work in so I can, I can say things that may be my full time cohort couldn't say. I could say, Hey, I've been on call this week, and so I just haven't been able to get it done. And the folks in the department are like, yep, we understand being on call. We understand that you were in the hospital for 10 hours on Tuesday and maybe didn't get that reading done. You know, at the time when I started the program, I was doing all the training and all the selection for our Emory ResLife for the student staff and the professional staff, which means my spring semester from January to almost April, I was doing some type of selection. And so there were some weeks when I taught, I had to tell my professors, I can't come to class because this is our selection week and I'm the one doing it.
And so I think I as a full time person, I got some leeway that I think, you know, as a, as a part, as a part time person. I know I got leeway that some other folks didn't get. But I also was, I've done like, I've done this job and I've, I'm old enough where I could say, Hey, it's not gonna kill me. It's not going to kill me if I don't go to this class and I'll still be okay and I'll still get stuff done that I need to get done. And sometimes when you go straight through, when you go from master's and only work a year or two and then go to your PhD, you feel frightened to ask the question. I've never been frightened to ask the question. Not, not when it comes to my job or doing what I need to do. Yeah. I'm frightened in some other areas, but I'm always been like, you know, I've, you know, for the past six or seven or eight years, I've been the oldest person in the room and I'm okay with that. You know what? Cause I'm not trying to impress anybody but me at this point in my life.
Tell Us About Your Dissertation (Dr. Lacy):
Mmm. That's so much. I'll take it. I'm receiving that. I'm not trying to impress nobody. Yes. Um, so shifting gears a little bit, you talked to us about your dissertation. You say you are working on the IRB. Uh, so can you give us the elevator pitch of your dissertation project?
Guest:
Yes. So I am uh, working on, uh, my topic is around resident assistance. Um, and so I'm working on social media and how resident assistants, um, use or don't use or experience how they experience social media in the context of their position.
Dr. Lacy:
Yes. It's considering we are a highly digital society. Um, most students who are RAs at this point would be living on their phone. One could make that assumption.
Guest: Yes.
Dr. Lacy: And so thinking about departments and units on campus may not have caught up in the same ways that like actually matches the way that students use it. And so looking at like, what does that look like? Are students using it? Is there you know?
Guest: Well, cause I know some students and you know, just um, from, from my general interactions with students, some students use like certain social media platforms for their job and certain for personal, but not everybody does that. You know, I had a lot of the students at Emory use group chat and so they have a group chat, they have girl they go group tasks for everything. And I'm like, Oh, do not text me one more thing. But you know, they want to, I live on email. Our students don't live on email. They live on Snapchat and um, Instagram and text and Twitter and now your, the students coming in or like Twitter is but a for the old folk, like what are you people do? Like they are all slacking. And I'm just like, what in the hell is all of this? You know? And so there are 10 steps ahead of us and you know, if we are trying to keep up, you know, one, are we keeping up? Two, are they, are they doing things? Are we, how are they meeting the needs of their residents in, in the areas, in the platforms of social media that we do and don't know about? And are there things that we should and should we should be doing and don't know that we should be doing?
Dr. Lacy: Mmm, yes. I can't wait to read this. Um, cause I was just thinking about the last class I taught, um, for this this spring and how students were finding me on Instagram and talking to me. And then I was like, Oh, I need to like update my policies. Yeah. I like, am I going to communicate with you? I mean, I did it because I'm working full time and teaching and it was a different campus. It just made things easier. Um, but I as going towards the future, I'm like, yeah, I need to rethink this whole like social media and you know, using my, but yes, whether Twitter is for the old folks. Um,
Guest: well, and the other thing is, as I think about crisis management, like a lot of times, you know, we have to find emergency numbers and how do we find students? If you look on their official forms, sometimes I don't, students don't put the right number. They don't put the correct number. But if you talk to the RAs and you talk to the other students, they can find people in half a second. They text them, they answer them, they Slack them. And people like, Oh yeah, I just texted them and they were fine. I'm like, well, hell's bells. Like they have all the ways they can connect them. And so there are ways that we can make our jobs easier than I just don't think we've thought about.
Dr. Lacy:Mm. I mean, I'd be so curious to know like all the things they tell you. Um, the things that like if they get real comfortable. Um, but like record type things. Like what are you really doing? Oh, miss 'em it's domestic,
Guest: right!
Dissertation Coach Benefits (Dr. Lacy):
You talked about making this journey your own, not no pressure to feel like you need to please anyone have an awesome project. Um, and while we, we've known each other through Georgia and a program, uh, we also worked together in terms of dissertation and, and, um, getting a proposal ready for you to defend. Can you talk about what led you to the decision of like, how did you even know that a dissertation coach was a thing? And then what made you say, okay, I'm going to work with one? Because a lot of people will say, well, I have my advisor. Why would I need someone else?
Guest: Um, so gosh, I've got to think back so I can't remember if you reached out to me or if I found your information. But I remember I felt like I was failing and I had started. So let me back up a minute. So my publishable paper. So at Georgia you have to do a publishable paper and then defend it and then you take your comps and then you can start your dissertation. So I did my publishable paper on the work motivation of resident assistance and so I've known for all, I like I want to do work around it, resident assistants. I've always that, that's a just a passion that I have in my next life. Whenever that happens I want to write the new resident assistant book, you know, cause the buling book has been out forever and they keep updating it but there hasn't been an updated really good book. And so that's what, you know, when I win the lottery I want to write the next residence assistant book. So I've known I've wanted to do resident assistants. And so when I started, but when I started thinking about my dissertation, I wanted to change topics and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. And so I just started reading. I started reading, started reading, and I thought, Oh, in my reading I found social media. And I thought, Oh, there's, there's, there are pockets around social media and students but is there, has there been a dissertation around social media and resident assistants and how they experienced that in their job? And so I started gathering information, but I felt like I was just, I tend to do a lot of reading and I'm a huge procrastinator and I felt like I was reading, reading, writing, and writing little pockets. But I was stuck and I didn't know where to go and how to push myself forward. And I am not afraid of asking for help.
And I saw that you had done it. Um, and you and I have a really had a really good relationship and I thought you would be a someone who would, um, push me when I needed to be pushed. And give me some different feedback. Um, my advisor, I love my advisor, but she is an introvert and I'm an introvert and so she pushes me in certain ways, but I needed to be pushed in different ways. Um, and so that is why, and I looked at what kind of you were offering and I thought this, this could work for my style. Um, I don't, I have imposter syndrome around my write, my, my academic writing. I don't have imposter syndrome in my job and I don't have imposter syndrome in my writing, but in my academic writing specifically for this dissertation, I have lots of imposter syndrome. And while I know in my head I can do this, it's little steps. It's it. At the time when I started talking to you, it just seemed like such an impossible big chunk of writing that I had to do that I couldn't get, I couldn't make the first step.
Dr. Lacy: Yes. I feel like we initiated discussion. I think it was like an August, and then I felt like we didn't really start working until like September, but then your draft had to be done Thanksgiving. Right. I want to say it was like either the week after Thanksgiving,
Guest: maybe. Yeah. Something like that.
Dr. Lacy: Like the first part of like the first initial draft needed to be done. And then of course, like we met the deadline, but of course like there was some edits and things to go back and forth but you were able to defend it. Yes. Um, and so for I guess someone who would be curious or has no idea, like how would you describe the coaching experience?
Guest:I think for me the coaching experience, um, it was, um, directional and, and what I mean by that is, um, for me I felt like I had lots of things. And when you and I talked, you are able, one, I was able to talk through what I wanted to do and, and I wasn't as far behind as I think I thought I was. And you were able to kind of say, Oh, you've got these really good ideas, let's talk about how we get them where they need to be. And that was helpful to hear. Also. Um, you kind of broke down. Okay. So here's steps for this week, your steps for that next week. And, and so there were many weeks where I could just take kind of your steps and write in, in the outline. And so we talked about an outline. And so in the outline I could write about the history of RAs or I could write about social media. And so then it didn't seem overwhelming and I could focus for one week. And so one week I would write, I would focus all my energy on, um, the introduction or all my energy on, um, the general information around social media. And so there were, it, it really did help break it up into these small pieces that I could focus on. And I didn't feel like I had 18,000 books and 18,000 articles and I didn't know where to start in one, where to pull.
Dr. Lacy:
Hmm. So really having someone to like, let you talk out things give you like the positive reinforcement because you did have, like, you had it there, like you had all the ideas and the things that you needed to do. Um, but having something, not only a plan, but to say, like, for this week we're doing this and next week we're doing that. Uh, and I would say yes, that's definitely an accurate description of most people are looking for that and while I'm sure like a lot of people's like chairs or advisers would love to do that. Like realistically they just, they don't have the time or the capacity to do that for all of their advisees or maybe that's not even their style to do that. And so I would say like a coach would be really helpful in those, in between. I like to try to tell people I'm like the glue between you and your advisor and like translate what their saying and put it into very like practical step by step, you do this, this is what they would like for you to do. Yeah. Yes. Awesome. Um, is, let's see, is there any advice or anything that you would give to someone about either coaching or just in general about this dissertation process?
Guest: Um, be honest, like, um, I think there is, it's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to be, um, feel like you haven't done enough or you're not doing enough. I think this entire process I've felt like I, you know, it's easy to compare yourself and I, you know, I often say I'm doing this for me, but I do sometimes compare myself and I'm like, Oh, I should be done. I should be doing this. And then I stepped back and I'm like, you know what? Whatever. You know, and, and again, I'm, I'm at the age where I don't give a damn anymore, but it's easy to be like I, everyone in my cohort is finished and I'm still slogging along and I haven't been as motivated as I wanted to be. And I haven't this, these past two weeks, I have not been as motivated as I wanted to be, but that's okay because I'm human and I will be, you know, then I, you keep stepping forward. I like, you know, when you talked about what's the 1% that you can do really breaking, I struggle breaking stuff down into these small little chunks. I always want to be the big thing. And, and I've, I've let the big things me, um, and don't let the big thing scare you because you can do it, you know, they wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't think you could do it, you know, you are on the path. And so for me the coaching has been, what's the little push? What are the things that you know, I can, I've been able to have because you and I have a relationship I can talk about, okay, so I've been on call on this, this week has been ridiculous. And so the things I didn't get done and, and you recognize that and understand that, but then say, okay, so what is the one thing you can do?
"I've Got to Put Myself First, to Put the Dissertation First (Guest):
And so be even breaking it down to saying to, to hear from someone else who's not your family and not in your program and not your advisor to say, you know what? It's okay. It's okay you didn't get that done. Or this is awesome that you did get this done. What's the one thing you can do? What's the two things that you can do that will get you two steps closer? Um, because I think, you know, we, we all know that and you know, I know that cause I've said that to other people, but it's so hard to turn that in for myself. Like I'm not a good student. I'm not a, you know, I can support everyone else. I do not know how to put myself first. And that's been really hard. Like, has been really hard to put myself first and say close my door and be like, Nope, not answering this. I need to spend an hour doing this dissertation stuff. Um, and that's, that's a struggle I've had like forever. Like I don't do that well, but having you as a coach has, has made me think, okay, so what is the one thing, how can I put myself work first? Because I've got to put myself first to put this dissertation first.
Final Thoughts (Dr. Lacy):
That's a perfect note to end on. Thank you so much for giving us your time and sharing with us about your experience. Um, and we will be sending you well wishes and good Juju as you continue on through this IRB process and the rest of the dissertation. Um, if folks are like curious and they want to find you, where can they find you?
Find me @ (Guest):
Um, I, I am on the Facebook, um, but I'm also on Twitter. Um, Twitter, it's SPHE96. Um, I'm also on Instagram. I do a lot of stalking on Instagram and sometimes I post pictures of my nephews on Instagram. Um, but Instagram, I think it's the same. I think it's SPHE96 on Instagram. Um, and then on Facebook it's Kayla Hamilton. Um, I'm at Emory. Uh, I think that's it. I think those are the things, those are the social medias that I have.
Dr. Lacy:I'll add that to the notes um on the website for folks who are curious. Um, but yeah, thank you so much Kayla. And um, yeah, so wish you much success as we move forward.
Join Write Away (Dr. Lacy):
Hey sis, how is your productivity going? No, for real it's just you and me. Like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot and why you're feeling burnt out? Feeling a little bit lonely? Wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are and consistent as you are to showing up week after week to get things done. Then you have to join Write Away. Write Away is my weekly accountability group where we have people just like you showing up every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays for three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. Um, we ask that people stay for the whole time but we also know like life is real. Life happens and sometimes you have other things to do and so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave and they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're going to do week after week. And plus, we are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. Like they don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's us. We do that. We, we're here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet, we're there to do that. So come to the website, check us out, and join now. Um, you can go to marvettelacy.com. Click the red button in the top right corner, work with me and you'll find all the information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. And you definitely, definitely should join.