Episode 70: Be An Example of What's Possible

Introduction: 

Hey friend, the time has come to finish your dissertation, graduate and become doctor. Welcome to office hours with Dr. Lacy where we talk about how to finally master this time management thing so you can stay on top of it without losing your mind. Every Wednesday you can find a new episode wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure you hit the subscribe button to make sure you never miss an episode. I'm Dr. Marvette Lacy your dissertation writing strategist here to be with you along every step of the way. I would like to thank you for coming to today's office hours. Let's get started on today's episode. Hey, how's writing going? I know you don't like the question, but let me tell you, when you join the finish your dissertation program, you will love that question. Clients often report feeling excited and joyful to go into their process even before they even get to the dissertation process, and that's what I'm inviting you to do. I'm inviting you to come inside the group and join us so that you can get the structure you need and the tools that will help you to show up consistent and disciplined in your process. All you need to do is come on over to Marvettelacy.com/apply and sign up for the wait list and you will be the first notified when doors are open. See you soon.

Continuing to Protect Your Peace: 

So hello, everyone. Welcome back! Happy July. I know that an episode went out last week and if you don't know I batch record these episodes. And so at the time of recording this, I'm officially in July, the first week of July, and I've just been in a very reflective periods and just thinking about everything that happened the first six months of this year, in a lot of ways, I feel like we've already lived like lifetimes in 2020 with everything that's been going on. And I just have been reflecting on even me and how I feel like I have changed and become different versions of myself, at least three or four versions of myself and these first six months experiencing a lot of personal growth, a lot of professional growth growth in my business and as I am making plans for the second six months of 2020, I'm just in awe about how my life is going to change. And so I'll definitely be sharing more with you about those changes as we move forward. But the reason why I'm not being as detailed as I could be right now is because, you know, other people need to know information before I'm just wildly just sharing across a podcast, but I am grateful for you listener just showing and supporting the podcast and supporting the business just extremely grateful. And so I just wanted to take a moment to say that and to thank you, whether this is your first episode, whether you've been listening for a while, whether you're a client, what are you thinking about becoming a client I'm just grateful for your presence and for you listening today. So today I'm going to finish off the series with the emails in terms of protecting your peace and wanting this episode to be more okay, what do we do?

Right? Like we talked about, like, we can't argue with reality. We can't argue with what's happening. We don't need to give our good time and energy to people and helping them to get educated. They had, they got Google, they got countless resources, right? We are protecting our peace, not only for ourselves and our wellbeing, but we're also protecting our peace as a way to preserve our energy for the next phase of uprisings and for the resistance and for the fight, right? Because we're going to need healers. We're going to need teachers. We're going to need people who can strategize. We're going to need people who lead, right? Because once you burn and tear everything down, we have to rebuild it. And we want to make sure that we're not just simply repeating the mistakes of the past and putting a different face on it. Right? And so I truly believe like you are who listening. The folks who are engaged in research, folks who are working on dissertations, folks who are on the higher like theoretical side of things, we will be extremely helpful with the strategy and the rebuilding. And so how can you make sure that you have enough energy to get to that point where you can be the most effective, right? Because not everybody is meant to be in the streets, not everyone.

Right? We talked about that over the past two weeks, not everyone is meant to be on our front line. Some of us are meant to do this type of work. And you've been doing this work. You've been engaging in dissertations. You've been engaging your research. That is the work. You have a way, like a big picture way of thinking about what's going on. And you have very particular strategies on how we move things forward. And so you have to, you have to be able to take care of yourself so that we can, we can utilize that valuable information at the end. And so today is going to be, how do you do that? What does that look like? Like practically, as well as mentally and emotionally, what does that look like? So I'm going to finish reading these emails. I do want to make a note because I did not take great notes for the first two episodes that I may repeat an email from our previous episode, but I think y'all going to be okay. Cause I feel like these emails were, were awesome. They were awesome.

How To Take Care of Yourself:

So this first email that I'm going to read you is titled how to take care of yourself. Cause people always are like, make sure you take care of yourself. And I'm always that person in my mind, like, but like how does one take care of themselves? And sometimes feeling shame of like, I can't ask anyone how I'm supposed to take care of myself because I feel like I'm supposed to know that because it's so widely used. And people said so much that I felt like I was supposed to know that already, but no one really tells you, how do you take care of yourself? And even if you know, it, it just still helpful for someone to tell you for you to hear it in a different way. So let's get to the email. In the finish your dissertation program we practice self care Saturdays. You take the entire day to give back to yourself and practice self-preservation the day is yours to do whatever you want to do that will fill you up. That last part is critical. What can you do that helps you fill up your spirit? Right?

Cause a lot of times when people say, take care of yourself or take a day off, we end up filling a day off with housework or a little random to dos or doing some other like, Oh, let me just catch up on emails. So that Monday isn't busy. And then you just ended up just working the whole day. What would it mean for you to take a complete 24 hours off and do nothing, but the things that light you up that spark joy or that just like help you relax. Right? So if you're going to watch a whole series on Netflix, that's your business. If you're going to, I don't know, read a trashy, I don't know novel that's, if it fills you up, if that lights you up, you do that. So that is what self care Saturday is all about. I do, I tend to do my long walks or runs on Saturdays, be outside. I get to think about the future, right? And I get to just like that helps me to relax. And then the rest of the day, I'm just on the couch. Cause I'm doing like five or six miles. I'm pushing myself. Um, if you don't know, I am, I have the goal of by the end of December, that I can complete 13.1 miles at one point, which is a half marathon. So that's just one way. I love to do that.

Scholar basics 101: 

But here are some other things that you can do to get started and what I have my clients do. So if you are a client of mine, we have what are called the scholar basics. And there are five things that we strive to do every day. And these are very tangible answers to the question of how does one take care of themselves. And I check in with my clients weekly, multiple times, anytime that we have a formal gathering, I ask my clients to rate themselves on how well they have been, uh, completing the scholar basics. And so I'm going to offer them to you as something for you to help you like benchmark how well you're taking care of yourself. So the first one is take at least one hour a day for yourself, just one hour, a day. And similar to self care Saturday. So that one hour, a day is every day. You know that you have your time. Some of my clients go running. Some of my clients use it to read. Some of them like watch TV. Some of them like take time to really enjoy their coffee, dance it out, whatever it is, taking an hour for yourself. Number two is drinking at least 64 ounces of water. You will be surprised how many of your health challenges or just general can't like focus, right? If you're having a hard time sitting still or just aches and pains, like how much can be resolved by you being properly hydrated, drink your water. You can drink it flat sparkly. You can add some tea too. So it can be Iced tea. You can add some like flavor packets. I don't care. Just drink. 64 ounces of water.

Number three is sleep at least seven hours a night. So this is a bonus. I'm sorry. This is, I don't know how it got in here. This is a bonus sleeping at least seven hours a night. And I'm putting it in here. This was from another coach because I read them this email. And this is from another coach who says like sleep at least seven hours. A lot of you are probably sleeping three or four, but sleep seven, number three, which cause the sleep was a bonus one is to move your body for at least 10 minutes a day again. And those 10 minutes seems like, what is that going to do? But you will be surprised, especially for those of you who, if you're anything like I, I can sit at a desk for hours. I cannot move. I don't get hungry. I don't get thirsty. I don't need to go to the bathroom. Like if I'm in the zone, I'm in the zone. And so knowing that I'm like, Oh, you need to get up and move.

At least for 10 minutes. It makes it, it takes the pressure off of feeling like I have to go do a whole workout and it makes me feel like, Oh, I can do that and still get back to work. So that's why it's 10 minutes. And most of the time with most of these, if you can get yourself to the 10 minute mark, you're probably going to do more, which is what happens to me. Number four is to spend 10 minutes a day, journaling your thoughts, your literal thoughts out your brain. You just want to write them down on a piece of paper or if you like to do differently, like to retell your day and generally do that. But the act of having a pen in your hand and writing on a paper, journaling out what's going on, it will do wonders for your, for your mental health.

And then number five, the fifth basic is executing your top three. We, there's a planning process, which I can link the episodes and the notes. But every day, what I ask clients to do is to determine three things that are your priority for the day. Each of those things take 20 minutes or less to complete. And these are what you start your workday with. And it helps you to build momentum because the motivation comes from momentum. Confidence comes from building momentum. And a lot of times we try to do too much in a day. But if we know we have these three things, we can at least know that like, okay, check, I did this. I can count it as a good day or a productive day if you use that language.

Believe in Something That Is Bigger Than You: 

So that is that. So what is one way you can practice self care today? The next email is believe in something bigger than you. Faith means complete trust or confidence in someone or something. We don't always have the energy. We don't always have the hope. We don't always see a way out. Borrowing the belief and confidence of something bigger than yourself helps you to keep moving when you feel like you have nothing else to give. Believing in something bigger than yourself gives you reassurance that all will work out in the end. Believing in something bigger than yourself, restores your hope that there's a larger purpose. I'm not telling you what you're something bigger is because that's for you to decide. I am telling you to decide, to believe in something in order to save yourself, you can believe in the ancestors. You can believe in the power of the collective. You can believe in God. You can believe in the universe. You can believe in the teachings of Buddha. You can believe in the power of sativa. Just believe. When we can believe in something bigger than ourselves, right? If we don't feel all this pressure that we have to have all the answers.

So a lot of times I set these huge goals that I have no way. Like, first of all, they make me want to throw up a little bit. Like I'm thinking about my goals for the next three months. I promise you, I kind of want to pass out a little bit. Cause I'm like, I don't, I don't know why I did that, but that's how you know, it's a good goal. And then to believing or having faith, when you have faith or you believe in something bigger than yourself, you don't have to know all the answers in the moment. You can just believe that it's going to happen and that there's going to be a way figured out. And you just have to keep moving forward when you practice faith, right? Cause it's one, like it's not something that you just do in your mind. Practicing faith means that when people say step out on faith, it means that you're going to take action under the belief that your goal is already done. It's already completed. So if you have the goal that you're going to finish your dissertation in the next three months, but you have no idea how, because you haven't written anything in the past six months, it doesn't matter.

You're believing in something bigger than you to help you get there. And you're going to show up and take action from that place of believing that in three months, the dissertation, the dissertation is going to be done. That's what it means to believe in something bigger because you won't always have the answers. Life will happen. Things will come and just knock you out and be like, it will seem hopeless. Like there's no way possible that you can achieve the goal. But when you have faith and you believe in that faith and you trust that faith, you're like, it doesn't matter what's happening in this moment. What's happening in this moment. It's temporary because I know that my faith got me. So if it's the ancestors, the ancestors got me. If it's a universe, the universe got me. If it's God, God got me, it's like, whenever you're believing in something bigger that it has you. And it's going to make sure that you get to the end of your goal. So that's what it means to believe in something bigger.

Be An Example of What's Possible: 

Email number three is taking up space. Well, actually, I think I read that one and if I didn't and I can definitely come back and um, I think I shared it on last week's episode. So I'm going to skip that one and go down. Okay. So this last email that I'll read is called to be an example of what's possible. Be an example of what's possible. People are watching you. People are inspired by you. People are looking to you for how to move forward. What are you showing them? Be an example of what's possible. Show them what's possible with research. Show them what's possible in relationships. Show them what's possible in self care. Show them what's possible in doing the work more importantly, show yourself what is possible. You know, enough, you have enough, you are enough. Let's build, let's go for the impossible. Are you ready to go for the impossible? Let's do it. And so I wanted to end that off with saying, being an example of what's possible because a lot of times we can get stuck and being like, well, I've never seen it before, or I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if that's possible for people like me. But when you come from a place of I want to be an example of what's possible, you give yourself a call or push to show up differently because a lot of us, right, we're more willing to show up for people we love and care about than we are for ourselves. And so I'm just like switching that a little bit to help you in order to show up for yourself, changing it.

Like what would it mean to not only show up for yourself and to show other people what's possible. To not do the status quo to push the bounds and to inspire people because that's how you change people. That's how you change their minds. That's how you get them to understand like really what the uprisings are about and what the work means is you inspire people into action, right? That's like if you go back to the first episode in this series a lot, I talked about how a lot of people were trying to go back and forth for people on Facebook and trying to force family members and loved ones to see things their way on this side of things like, cause that doesn't work when you're trying to force someone. But when you can inspire someone, that's a whole different energy. When you influence someone, you use your agency and your roles to influence or to inspire. That's more long lasting. People are self motivated then to take the change or to learn more or to participate in more conversation. And I want you to go above this moment and even thinking about your dissertation, thinking about your research, thinking about your other relationships, thinking about how you care for yourself, like think about how you preserve yourself. How can you, even in those things, being an example for other people and be an example for yourself.

Final Thoughts: 

So that is what I will leave you with in this episode. I would love to know your thoughts, come on over to Instagram at Marvette Lacy and if you love, if you love this series and you're like, yes, I want more of this. You need to then be in the finish your dissertation program because we have conversations like this every week, every week we show up we're in community with one another. We have these types of conversations and that is why people are making so much progress in their dissertation. I'm going to be releasing some videos over the month of July, August to showcase some of my clients because I'm so proud of all of their hard work and their success. And even for them to help them celebrate their, like their progress since the time they've been in the group, because it's not just about the end when someone is saying, congratulations, doctor, it's about the journey.

Like you changed so much in this dissertation process and to have a place where you're able to not only process that and talk that out, but to even push yourself a little bit further to to show up, to be a better version of yourself, to show up, to be an example of what's possible. That's amazing. That's what we do in that group. That's why people are like finishing their dissertation and having so much joy and peace in their life while they're finishing it. So if that is something you're like, yes, why am I not in this group? Come on over to Marvette lacy.com and sign up for the wait list because I will be opening the group in August and I will be closing that group. And no one will be able to get in until December honest, you won't be able to get in until December. So if you know that this is your time to get into the group, come on over and sign up for the waitlist. Alright, that's gonna do it. I will talk with you all next week. Bye for now.

Join Finish Your Dissertation!: 

Hey, you ready to take this work further? Then it's time for you to join the finish your dissertation program. Finally get the tools, resources, and structure. You need to show up consistent and disciplined in your process. All you need to do is come on over to MarvetteLacy.com/apply and join the finish your dissertation waitlist. I'll see you there. Bye for now. Thanks. Thank you for joining in for today's office hours. Make sure you come on Instagram and tag me at Marvette Lacy. Let me know what your thoughts were on today's episode until next time. Do something to show yourself some love. I'll talk to you next week. Bye for now.