Episode 40: Writing Groups & Retreats

Introduction:

Welcome to office hours with Dr. Lacy. Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your dissertation strategist, where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative dissertations so that they can graduate and successfully become doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November. I'm going to be at home in Chicago. And I'm inviting a few friends along for a beautiful productive rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are gonna meet meeting in Chicago November 24th to the 27th, four days, three nights of writing, scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Um, um, fun we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self, we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routine. We're going to have some time to get some eyes on your writing to really help you flesh out those ideas. I have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant writing done at the retreat but also when you leave because there's was nothing more, I find annoying that when you go to an event, you're, you're all excited and you're motivated and you're like yup, I'm going to do all the things and you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're going to make sure that when you leave, you know what to do. 

Plus you know I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my MO. So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page, how do you manage your own self so that you know you can continue to show up and go after your goals. Plus so much more. Breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different options for packages available. So please, please, please go over to Marvettelacy.com. And then you're going to click the red button at the top right corner that says work with me, and then you will find all the information you need about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises planned. We already have people signed up and so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just go on over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you more about it, but please don't miss out. Alright, we're going to get onto today's episode. 

You Need People:

You need people, you need people, you need people. Welcome to this week's episode. I feel like that is all you needed to know is that you need people. Um, so I can't believe for real, like my birthday is in like three days at the time this is released and I feel like this year has just flown by. Um, but again, I'm still in the, in a grateful mindset about it all. Um, and I really wanted to, I was gonna talk about this topic next week, but I feel like it's important, um, especially because I am hosting my first in-person writing retreat, um, next week. And there's still time for you to get a virtual ticket if you would like to join us. But I, I wanted to make sure that I was explaining to people why writing retreats and writing groups are so key to our success. Um, especially if someone, if you're working on your dissertation and you're in that process and you're done with your course work. Writing groups and writing retreats, like will save everything. Um, and at the key of it, the reason why the core of it, I mean is that you need people, like you need people. 

As humans, we are not meant to be alone. And the way the school system is set up, we, we're always around people, whether that's in a virtual environment or, um, in-person environment. And for some reason when you get to the dissertation phase for most programs, they just put you by yourself, all your people and structure is gone. And your brain freaks out. And so that's why I started this episode off by repeating that you need people because I want you to be clear that you need people. And I get it, all people are not your people and that's fine. Um, like, we're not going to click with everyone. However, it's imperative that you find your people, or at least your people to write with. I'm sure you've heard that old saying about you are the sum of the five people you hang out with the most. And it's not just an in person who, okay, yeah, you're not, you know, we're I live y'all. Um, it's not about the people. It's not just about people you hang out with in person, but the people you consume the most on social media, the people who are listening to the music you're listening to, it all has an effect on you. And so if constantly hanging out with people who are procrastinating, who are not serious about their dissertation, who only want to complain about what's going on, that will rub off on you, it will have an effect on you. 

However, when you're hanging out with people who are like dedicated, they're willing to do whatever they are getting some work done, you will be surprised with how much you're able to produce in terms of writing. I just want to record a podcast and not have like the drag race or something outside of my door. Okay, great. But yes. Um, it is, it is important to have a group that who aligns with like who you are, how you work and where you're going, who are going to push you. And if you are the smartest or the highest achieving one in your group, you're in the wrong group, especially when it comes to your dissertation because that is a thing that will sink you the quickest, is bringing around the wrong group of people. Having a consistent group of people who you work with, who you write with,keeps you supported.

It keeps you grounded, it keeps you accountable and writing groups, it's a great way to be around people who share, who share the same goal as you as writing your dissertation and to keep you going in the day to day stuff. So it would be like essentially the people you would be in class with every week. Um, but it's through your writing group. Um, cause you know, you have to show up somewhere, you know, there's going to be a group of people who are going to be looking for you, if you go missing, like you just decided you weren't going write for weeks. Um, they, um, give you support when you're having those hard moments, they celebrate your wins with you and they let you know that you don't have to do this alone. Cause it was hard to do this alone, remember you need people. 

Structure Matters:

Um, but and, I'll say and, it is very key that you have structure to your writing groups. So a lot of times people would just get together with a writing group and like we going to write, we're going to meet at Panera and we're all gonna write. And you may go there and you may have felt real good about being there, but then you look and you're like, but I didn't really do anything. Um, and so there needs to be a lot of structure. You will notice that the theme of this month while I am talking about writing, you will notice that I am also an equally talking about structure. The more structure you give yourself, the easier writing is. Not to say it will ever probably be like a really easy and you can get more done with the, with the more structure, so you get together with a writing group, you all like should come together and have a conversation and everyone that's in the group should be equally invested in a group meaning that like everyone is working towards something of the same level so that's why it's good to have a group that is working on dissertation and I will even go so far to say if you're in your proposal phase people who are working on their proposal and if you're in the other part of collection phase, then people doing that. 

But if for whatever reason you don't have that luxury to have a designated group of people or even one or two people, at least their project they're working on, it should be at the same magnitude. It's important because if one of you is just working on a manuscript that it'd be nice as the, maybe they don't have too many others working on dissertation proposal, like the energies are going to be off. And so I, I highly suggest that you have a group that's, that's equally invested. Hey sis, how is your productivity going? No, for real. It's just you and me. Like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot in a line and you're feeling burned out, feeling a little bit lonely, wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are and consistent as you are to showing up week after week to get things done? Then you have to join write away.

Write away is my weekly accountability group where we have people just like you showing up every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays for three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. Um, we ask that people stay for the whole time, but we also know like life is real, life happens and sometimes you have other things to do. And so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave and they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're going to do week after week. And plus we are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. 

Like I don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's us. We do that. We, we're here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet, we're there to, to do that. So come to the website, check us out and join now. Um, you can go to marvettelacy.com, click the red button in the top right corner, work with me and you'll find all the information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. And you, you definitely, definitely should join. Second thing is having very clear agreement around the times and dates you're going to meet. So if you meet every Wednesday at 9:00 AM at Panera, then that needs to be in both of your calendars and it should be nonnegotiable. And therefore, whatever reason, one of you cannot be there, you communicate with each other and there's like a for real, legitimate reason as to why you can't be there and not because, excuse me, like something random. You just don't feel like it's something random came up. It is, it is key that everybody's committed to it. So having a very set time and date that we're going to work. So if it's Wednesdays at 9am at Panera, we gonna work for three hours every Wednesday. 

Um, I suggest that at the beginning of this group, and for me, you should have a conversation about we're going to have a trial period. So we're going to do this for two days. I mean, two days, we're gonna do this for two months, 60 days, we're going to meet for eight weeks. And then at the end of that eight weeks, we're going to determine if this is a good fit. And if it's not, we'll go find a different group. And it won't be any hard feelings because I'm sure you've all been a part of a group and somebody goes and you're like, what happened? And they in there writing with somebody else and they didn't even invite you. And now it's this whole awkward thing and whatever, it becomes this big thing. And instead of at the outset, if you just say, we're going to try this for four or eight weeks, whatever the time period. And then at the end we gonna say, if this is gonna work for us or not, and if it don't, there won't be any hard feelings. It is, oh this is crucial. And I know you're probably like this is just too much, that's where it saves a lot of headache on the back end and then make sure that everybody is on the same page. 

So having the trial period, set time and date, and then having very clear expectations and goals for the group. So writing groups mean different things to different people. Some groups are just for people just need to come together and they just need to, write. Other groups are, we just give each other feedback. We don't actually spend time in person writing. We spend our in person time giving, reading each other's work and giving feedback. Or we spend our in-person time having a conversation about writing or discussing readings. But the group doesn't have to be all things for the writing process. They can be very clear. But there used to be again, a conversation with all the group members about what the goal and purpose of your group will be and then having expectations about, um, again, how often you meet, when you meet.

Do you talk while you're writing, is this a writing group or is it like discussion group? What type of group? Um, will you give feedback to each other? Is it just about accountability? Um, if someone doesn't show up, is it okay to call you or text you and follow up with you? Um, if I see that you're, you know, slacking like we're meeting but you're on Facebook, you know, are you going to be comfortable with me calling you out about that? With love of course. But like, what, how detailed, um, or like what are the expectations gonna govern this group and being as detailed as possible. 

First Meeting Conversations:

Because again, you have to treat your dissertation like it's a business, right? And you have to give as much structure as possible to it because anytime that you, any one that you leave and you don't provide structure, that's more likely going to be an area that sort of tanks you or prevents your progress towards your dissertation. So as much as you can think about having a conversation as a group, like using your first meeting time to be really be really clear about the intentions of your time together, how are you gonna spend your time together and what you will and what you won't do, right. And that everybody's invested in it and you talk about what happens when these no one's meeting these expectations or like something falls off. Like how are you gonna handle that? And not leaving it up until the moment it happens cause something will happen where people, um, and even the people with the best intentions, um, like something's going to happen or like maybe, um, or even having a conversation about who you are as people. Like are you type a or type B, how do you feel about deadlines? 

Like as much information as you can share at that initial time, at least everybody can be on the same page about who everyone else is and what to expect. Um, and if you're like, that's too much work, I've got time, then I highly suggest that you join another group that's already set up. There's so many writing groups, um, especially virtual writing groups that you can join. I even have one with write away that already has structure so that you don't have to think about those things. But if you want to get together with a group of people that are in your program or who are closer to you, this is a very good like outline or format to follow to make sure that you'd get what you need from this group. So that is what I'll say about writing groups. If you have any other questions about that, please let me know. 

Writing Retreats 101:

The second thing that I want to talk about are writing retreats. So everybody loves a group writing retreat and people are always planning, like, I belong to a lot of Facebook groups and groups and things of that nature. And, um, people like to organize like free writing retreats, right? And I see it all the time. Um, people like, good, I'm going to have, I need the time, I just need some designated time that I can work on things. And then they show up and let's say the writing retreats, for a few days and they go and they have all the books and all the things and they go there and there they will put on hold working. But at the end of it they don't have anything to show for it. And you wonder like, what did I spend all this money for? What I spent all this time doing? And I, I believe that you should only go to a writing retreat when you know exactly what it is that you need to work on and how you're going to work on it. And you have a very detailed step by step plan of what you need to do during that time. And the only thing that is missing that you don't have in your regular day to day life is focused, concentrated time to do those things. But if you do not have a clear plan of what you need to do, how you'll do it, and what the outcome would be, then you do not need to go to anybody's writing retreat because it will just be a waste of time. So don't go and say, Oh, I'm just gonna work on my proposal. 

What does that mean exactly? Are you gonna write all three chapters? Do you know exactly what used to be included in each chapter? Have you done all the research for each chapter? And do you have a idea of how long it will take you to write each chapter? And is the time that is allotted for their writing retreat, going to be enough time for you to write the whole proposal. So if all, if any of that is a no, that you don't need to go or you need to rework your goal. So instead you may say, I'm going to write chapter two in the next three days of this writing retreat. That means that I have a very clear detailed outline of chapter two. I know all of my headings. I have my notes of the literature and then when I get there I'm going to open up my laptop and I'm going to start writing and I'm going to know exactly what it is that I need to write and by the end of my time there I have a complete draft of my chapter two. That is when you go to a writing retreat cause you just need concentrated time to sit there and type. I would also say you should not go to anybody's writing retreat, virtual in person or otherwise where it is not structured where there's no schedule and endless amount of writing time is not helpful. It sounds good. Right? 

But going back to my earlier point, there is no structure, again now this the theme. If there is no structure you will not be as successful as you think you will be. And, you also need to be honest with yourself. That is if you're doing it in person type thing where you're going somewhere. Is this more of a vacation or is this more about work time? Right. Cause if you didn't give yourself structure, you're not even clear about what you're going to actually be writing. It's going to be more of a vacation and you just need to be honest with yourself because that's okay if it is, but be honest and call it what it is. Instead of saying I'm going to go do all this writing, you don't know what you're writing so how do you know if you did that or not? Okay. Let me get off of that. Also realizing and coming to terms with, you won't be able to write the whole time of the retreat. Remember last week I talked about you should only really have four hours at a time that you're writing. So I'm having a writing retreat next week in Chicago and if you still want to join us virtually there's tickets available but all the in person tickets are gone. Um, but I'm having a writing retreat and there's a very clear schedule and there are four hour chunks of time for writing or uh, there's a schedule for writing. 

There's a schedule for like having discussions about different topics related to writing and their scheduled structured time for feedback and review. While it's not completely structured and not all things are mandatory for the whole entire four days, there are parts that are mandatory and structured because I have designed it and set it up in a way to make sure that you actually get some writing done. I do not want people wasting their money, their time, their energy, their resources to be at a writing retreat where they don't get anything done. The goal is for you to get something done because you have concentrated time and capacity to do so. But if there's no structure around that and any other retreat that you're going to, um, or like a virtual retreat, that's just an open space. I mean it gives you the community which of course, you know, I think it's invaluable, I just talked about how we need people, but if it doesn't have the other part of having structure, then it's not going to be as beneficial. So making sure that you have structure in place. If you need an idea of what that structure looks like, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to last week's episodes, um, to figure out how to like organize that or what you should be doing. Um, and if you need to listen to it again, you may need to. And remember there's a worksheet that goes with it in the 90 day group. Um, and then the last piece that should be included in a retreat is someone to review your work and someone who's there to help you come up with a plan and making sure you're staying on track. Like someone who is, um, leading that part of making sure that there is some structure that people are following it. Because when you don't like, you leave things up to chance, it's just, it's nine times out of 10, it's not going to end up well. So I would love to know, um, are you currently a part of a writing group or do you plan on going to a writing retreats? Um, you're certainly welcome to come to the writing retreat. 

Final Thoughts

The Qual scholars writing retreat next week, it's going to be November 24th to the 27th in Chicago. I'll leave the link in the show notes below for you to come and sign up and find out more information. But let me know if you have any questions about it. Um, but yeah, I'd be curious to know what your experiences was with, writing, writing groups or writing retreats. Let me know over in Instagram @MarvetteLacy . Until then, until next week, do something to show yourself some love. I'm going to be finishing up this series next week talking about how to ask for feedback. Um, cause I also think that is critical in this whole writing journal. I am really looking forward to hearing all about the things that you all are writing for this month. Let's make November a strong writing month so that we can finish this last 90 days of 2019 of the decade strong. I'll be back next week. Um, and that is all, bye for now.