People-pleasing, lying, and manipulating

People-pleasing most likely is a big part of your secret to success as a high achiever.

A high achiever is someone who works hard, wins all the awards, and is the go-to person when you want something to be done right. 

Lately, you haven’t been feeling much like a high achiever.

Any of these sound like you:

• You’re not someone who can consistently get things done. You’re either hyper-focused on a task or have a hard time turning on the computer.
• Have difficulty paying attention for long periods of time unless you’re working on a major project that needs to be done like yesterday.
• Just when you think you got your life together, depression and anxiety show up as an uninvited guest to take you out for weeks at a time.
• Tend to get irritated or frustrated with your partners, friends, and team members for not understanding how much you have on your plate. You wish they could stop adding more things to your to-do list.
• Your memory doesn’t seem to be what it used to be. You have trouble remembering words, where you left your keys, or how you can never find your bonnet. 
• Every night, you need that glass of wine, weed gummy, a bag of flaming hots, and a CBD bath bomb to unwind and stop that critical voice that’s been screaming at you all day.
• Most of the time you just feel numb as if you don’t have emotions like other people. You don’t understand why some people react so intensely when it doesn’t even seem to register to you. You have the just get it done, attitude. 

What do these things have to do with people-pleasing though?

These are the consequences of people-pleasing.

I often say that people-pleasers are unintentional liars and manipulators.

You lie about your feelings and thoughts because you think it will give a more favorable response, which is manipulation. 

You most likely learned these strategies as a child and it was out of necessity and survival. 

This is something I go deeper into with my clients but for now, just know that it makes sense that you are experiencing these symptoms and there is a way to change them if you’re able and willing.

For now, I just want you to consider that life doesn’t have to be this way.